Time is the one thing none of us can get back, yet somehow we treat it like an all-you-can-eat buffet. We pile on meetings, side projects, and “just one more thing” until we’re bloated with busyness and starving for meaning.
I recently read Essentialism by Greg McKeown and it smacked me in the face: Do less, but better. Simple, but not easy.
The book reminded me of an ancient Greek idea I can’t stop thinking about: Chronos vs Kairos. Chronos is the measurable kind of time. Seconds, minutes, hours; the tick-tock kind that controls your calendar and ruins your weekends. Kairos, though, is felt time. It’s when you’re in the zone, creating, connecting, or laughing so hard that hours vanish.
The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “You can’t control Chronos, but you can choose Kairos.”
And that’s where most of us go wrong. We tie our self-worth to Chronos. How much did I get done today? How many boxes did I check? Did I earn enough to feel like I matter?
I used to worship productivity. I climbed the corporate ladder like it was the Stairway to Heaven, status, promotions, raises, fancy dinners. But when the company imploded, so did my illusion of control.
That’s when I learned the hard truth: Efficiency without meaning equals emotional bankruptcy.
At Subaru, I finally experienced what work could feel like when you’re in Kairos. I was surrounded by leaders who believed in people more than deadlines. We worked hard, but it didn’t feel like grinding, it felt like building something that mattered. Seven years flew by in what felt like a blink.
Since then, I’ve tried to design my life around owning my time instead of serving it. Here’s how you can do the same.
The Time Ownership Framework
1. Hard Boundaries (Non-negotiable)
Sleep. Family dinners. Morning routines. These don’t move. They protect your energy and keep you grounded when life tries to drag you back into the chaos.
2. Soft Boundaries (Flexible, not disposable)
Workouts. Reading. Reflection. These can shift, but they can’t disappear. Miss one? Reschedule it. You’re not skipping—you’re adjusting.
3. Flow Boundaries (Kairos triggers)
The conditions that help you feel alive in your work. Music, lighting, walks, tidy spaces—whatever helps you drop into deep focus. Protect these like they’re sacred.
When you live by these layers, time stops feeling like a bully and starts feeling like a partner.
So this week, cancel one meeting. Use that block for something that feeds your mind or your soul. Make it your Kairos hour.
Because in the end, you don’t need to manage time, you need to own it.