We often define ourselves by what we do—our jobs, hobbies, or achievements. But what happens when those things change? If you lose your job, get injured, or life throws a curveball, does that mean your identity disappears too?
Many of us have fallen into this trap. I recently had my own wake-up call when I didn’t get into the Broad Street Run. My immediate reaction? “If I’m not running this race, who am I?” But then, I realized something bigger—my identity wasn’t just tied to being a runner. It was tied to the value of being an active, healthy person.
Why does this matter?
Tying your identity to external achievements sets you up for disappointment. Instead, when we build identities rooted in our values—things that no circumstance can take away—we become more resilient and adaptable.
How to Expand Your Identity:
- Ask the Right Questions: Instead of “What do I do?” ask, “What do I stand for?”
- Zoom Out: Shift from narrow roles to broader values. Examples:
- “I’m a software engineer” → “I’m a problem solver.”
- “I’m a parent” → “I’m a mentor and guide.”
- “I’m a runner” → “I’m an active person who values health.”
- Take Action to Reinforce Your New Identity:
- If you want to be a leader, start leading small—plan a get-together, take charge of a small project.
- If you see yourself as a creator, make something—write, draw, or build, even if it’s just for fun.
The key is to define yourself by things that endure. Roles change. Jobs come and go. But values? They stick with you no matter what life throws your way.
What’s a role you’ve outgrown that you need to redefine? Share your thoughts in the comments or tag me on Instagram @WalshMeGrow.